Beachbum Berry's Grog Blog

The Walt Disney Company has atoned for its recent slate of movies by hiring Kevin Kidney and Jody Daily to design a drink bowl commemorating the 45th anniversary of Disneyland’s Enchanted Tiki Room. Now that we’ve seen it, we can’t imagine serving a Scorpion Bowl in any other vessel.

You may recall that Kevin also designed the cover and maps for our most recent book, Sippin’ Safari. Clearly Disney didn’t know about his association with old soaks like us, or they’d never have hired him.

To see the other items Kevin and Jody have designed for Disney, including a beautiful bar-top fountain:

KEVIN & JODY’S DISNEY DESIGNS

KEVIN’S OTHER WORK

If the Bum hadn’t just pawned his hat, he’d tip it to New Orleans mixologist Chris Hannah, whose Tiki-inspired drinks and exotic syrups are turning Arnaud’s restaurant bar, the French 75, into the French Polynesian 75.

That’s Chris above. The drink on the right is an original tropical concoction of his called the Ohanna (a play on ohana, the Hawaiian word for “family”). To make one, shake 1 1/2 ounces El Dorado 12-year Demerara rum, 1 1/4 ounces each falernum and orange juice, and 1/2 ounce coffee syrup with plenty of ice. Pour unstrained into a tall glass. Garnish with an orange slice.

What makes the Ohanna an experience best had at the French 75 is the unique nature of the syrups Chris makes at home, then brings to the bar to put in his drinks. His falernum, which he based on Paul Clarke’s recipe, is the best we’ve ever tasted, and his coffee syrup is delicate enough to sip straight, as you would a liqueur.

Without the Bum even having to beg (which he has been known to do, especially in bars), Chris has graciously consented to share these two recipes.

Here’s Chris on how to make his falernum: “In 6 ounces of rum (I use Old New Orleans 3-year), I steep the zest of 6 limes, 20 cloves, 10 cracked coffee beans, 10 whole dried allspice berries (I crack them too), 3 broken cinnamon sticks, and 1 cup of toasted pecan pieces. I sit this in a container for 2 days and then strain it. Then I mix it with the juice of three whole limes, 1 1/2 cups of simple syrup, and 1 teaspoon of almond extract (if I could find pecan extract I’d use that).”

Chris’s coffee syrup: “Take 1 cup of medium-roast coffee beans, crack all the beans, then add 2 cups of brandy. The brandy sits with the coffee beans for three to four days in a jar. Then I strain the brandy.” Chris then makes a brown sugar syrup with 1 1/2 cups each water and brown sugar, and combines the syrup with the coffee-infused brandy.

If all that sounds like just too much work, hop a freight down to Chris’s place of employ and join his ohana of fans:

FRENCH 75 BAR

The Bum is generally more interested in bars than barbells, but he will concede that there are times when weightlifting has merit. One of those times is when you pick up Tiki Modern And The Wild World Of Witco. We recommend donning a back brace first, as this coffee table book weighs more than some coffee tables. But dead weight it is not. Sven Kirsten’s new tome is heavy with historical insight and vintage color photos; these images, many never before published, resurrect a lost world of middle-class suburban exotica that actually makes one pine for the 1950s. Recent retro nostalgia-mongering to the contrary, this was not a decade most people enjoyed living through (uptight white male Ivy Leaguers excepted), which is precisely the reason exotica thrived back then. What better way to avoid facing atomic annihilation, unplanned parenthood, and stifling political and cultural mores than knocking back a Diki Diki in your basement Tiki bar?

Tiki Modern traces the primitive art trend in home-decor from its roots in 1920s Europe to its full flowering in the Eisenhower era. In the words of Sven himself, the book “shows how Tiki was an expression of this ‘pop primitivism,’ perfectly manifested in the home bars and living room sets of Witco International, the company that outfitted Elvis Presley’s Jungle Room and Hugh Hefner’s Playboy pool.”

We couldn’t put the book down … but eventually our arms got tired and we had to. Who knew exercise could be this fun?

TIKI MODERN AND THE WILD WORLD OF WITCO

We note with sadness the passing of Jack Thornton, who was felled by a stroke on February 22, at the age of 78. With his brother Bob, Mr. Thornton opened the Mai-Kai restaurant in Fort Lauderdale, Florida, in 1956. With five beautifully appointed dining rooms, a 30,000 square foot tropical garden, and food and drink that matched the decor in quality and imagination, the Mai-Kai quickly gained a national reputation as the must-see Polynesian supper club on the eastern seaboard.

It is a testament to the vision of Mr. Thornton (pictured above with daughter Tammy and son Ty, circa 1970s) that the Mai-Kai has managed to weather over a half-century’s worth of changing restaurant trends; it celebrated its 50th anniversary two years ago, and is still open for business.

Here’s to you, Jack, and your legacy. Ka huaka`i maika`i.

MIAMI HERALD OBITUARY

MAI-KAI RESTAURANT

If there weren’t so much grog involved, our upcoming visit to New Orleans would come perilously close to looking like work. (Man, we don’t even like typing that word.)

In addition to making drinks for the Pelican Club’s tiki dinner on February 22, and our book signing the next day at the Metairie Borders, a third event has just been added to our itinerary. On Monday the 25th, we’ll be at the Old New Orleans Rum distillery from 5 PM to 7 PM, shaking up two tropical cocktails we’ve created especially for the evening.

If you attend Friday’s dinner or Saturday’s book signing, admission to the Monday distillery event is free. If not, the cost is $10 — but that includes unlimited cocktails, plus a rum tasting, as well as hearty Creole food to accompany your booze. And if that’s not enough, they’re even throwing in a master distiller tour.

If you hate Mondays, this event is for you. But take care: if you sample as much of Old New Orleans’ fine rum as we plan to, you’ll end up hating Tuesday even more!

OLD NEW ORLEANS RUM DISTILLERY

PELICAN CLUB TIKI DINNER

BORDERS BOOK SIGNING

In the current issue of New Orleans magazine, wine guru Tim McNally forsakes the grape to talk about our Miehana cocktail (recipe above). It’s a drink we created to commemorate the ground-breaking 1996 exhibit of Polynesian Pop style in mid-century Orange County, “Native Drums In The Orange Grove,” held at the Anaheim Museum. (Spell “Miehana” backwards and see what you get!)

Curators Kevin Kidney and Jody Daily wanted a drink with an orange component, hence the Grand Marnier, which was a bit too familiar a flavor when mixed with the usual rum and citrus — but reacted in an unexpectedly interesting way to the addition of coconut rum. The drink has since found its way onto the menus of several Southern California bars and restaurants, but more gratifying for us was the Miehana mug Kevin and Jody sculpted to house the drink (pictured above).

THE MIEHANA MUG

Don The Beachcomber was born on February 22, 1907, in New Orleans. So it’s only fitting that New Orleans will host “Tales Of The Tiki Cocktail,” a dinner and tropical drink tasting on Friday, Feb. 22, at The Pelican Club restaurant.

The Pelican Club has waived is “no vagrants” door policy so that the Bum can attend; he’ll be mixing your drinks and annoying you with anecdotes about Tiki in New Orleans.

Chef de Cuisine Richard Hughes has created a six course dinner to accompany six vintage exotic drinks with a New Orleans connection, including a “lost” cocktail recipe from New Orleans’ legendary midcentury Polynesian restaurant, Bali Ha’i At The Beach (pictured above). Bali Hai owner Harry J. Batt’s grandson Jay found the recipe for us just last week! Here’s the dinner’s food and drink menu:

HOUSE MADE SPRING ROLLS WITH DIPPING SAUCES
Crawfish and Ginger, Crab and Jalapeño, Duck and Pineapple, Cabbage and Shitake Mushroom

BALI BALI (WELCOME COCKTAIL)
Old New Orleans Rum, Martin Miller’s Gin, Hennessey Cognac, Citrus juices, Falernum
(A “lost” recipe from the Bali Ha’i on Pontchartrain Beach, circa 1960)

GINGER AND SESAME U-10 DIVER SEA SCALLOP
with a Louisiana Coconut-Crawfish Cake and a Cilantro-Jalapeño-Lime Dressing

MYSTERY GARDENIA
10 Cane Rum, Lime Juice, Honey-Butter, Angostura Bitters
(By Don The Beachcomber; in the 1960s, the St. Charles Hotel’s Outrigger Bar served this as the “White Cloud”)

TARTAR OF AHI TUNA “POKE”-STYLE
with Avocado Salad, Wasabi Topika and a Soy-Wasabi Vinaigrette

NUI NUI
Cruzan Estate Rum, Pimento Liqueur, Vanilla Cordial Syrup, Orange & Lime Juice, Cinnamon Syrup
(A 1930s Don The Beachcomber drink, featured both at the Outrigger and the Bali Ha’i)

SEARED SZECHUAN PEPPERCORN SEA BASS
with Red Curry Polenta, Orange Peel Shrimp, Kumquat Confit and a 4-Citrus Sauce

MISSIONARY’S DOWNFALL
Cruzan Estate Rum, Peach Brandy, Fresh Mint, Pineapple, Lime Juice
(A Don The Beachcomber recipe, served at the Bali Ha’i as “Padre’s Pitfall”)

NIMAN RANCH PORK BONE-IN RIBEYE & BRAISED PORK BELLY
with Pork Fried Rice, Cashew Pea Pods, Sweet & Sour House-Made Pickled Vegetables and a 5-Spice-Mango Barbeque Sauce

MAI TAI
Rhum Clément VSOP, Orange Curacao, Lime Juice, Sugar & Orgeat Syrups
(Trader Vic’s original recipe; every New Orleans tiki bar served their own version of this.)

PINEAPPLE UPSIDE-DOWN CAKE
with Angelo Brocato’s Rum-Raisin Ice Cream and a Honey-Rum Glaze

BO-LO
Clément and Cruzan rums, Angostura Bitters, Lime & Pineapple Juices, Passion Fruit & Honey Mixes
(A 1953 version of Don The Beachcomber’s Pi-Yi)

All this will set you back $95 per person, but that includes tax and tip. And it’s for a good cause: proceeds go to the New Orleans Culinary and Cultural Preservation Society, a non-profit organization that raises funds to benefit hospitality industry members, and to preserve New Orleans’ dining and drinking history.

Reservations are required; call 504-377-7935. If you need a place to stay, the nearby Monteleone Hotel is offering a special rate of $179 on the night of the event. Mention the promotional code, TIKI, when calling to reserve a room at 800-535-9595.

If you’re not too hung over the next day, Borders Books and Music will host a Beachbum Berry book signing from 1 to 3 p.m. on Saturday, Feb. 23, sponsored by Old New Orleans Rum. (That’s the Borders location at 3131 Veterans Memorial Blvd. in Metairie.)

TALES OF THE TIKI EVENT DETAILS

THE PELICAN CLUB

MONTELEONE HOTEL

We’ve been getting a lot of mail lately from Gothamites in search of the elusive Lemon Hart Demerara rum, an essential ingredient in many of the best vintage tropical drinks.

The Demerara dilemma has just been solved by New York City cocktailian Henrik Reid, who’s graciously consented to share his findings. He suggests that interested parties “make the long voyage to one of NYC’s Caribbean neighborhoods, which is in Queens (about 45 minutes from downtown Manhattan). There is a store there that sells both the 80-proof and the 151-proof Lemon Hart: F&J Wine & Liquors, 125-20 Liberty Ave, Richmond Hill, Queens, NY, 11419. Phone: 718-738-0822.” (When you get off the subway, he cautions, you will have to pass one liquor store before you get to F&J.)

Mahalo nui loa, Henrik!

UPDATE: Another of our far-flung correspondents, Daniel Beaver-Seitz, informs us that on February 10, F&J ran out of Lemon Hart. (Daniel knows this because he bought the last bottle!) He says the owner was having difficulty getting more, “but would keep trying.” With that in mind, Daniel advises calling ahead before making the trek.

For help locating Lemon Hart in other cities, we direct you to a helpful conversation on the Tiki Central chat room (link below). But don’t try writing to the address in the ad above. It’s from 1965.

LOOKING FOR LEMON HART?

The Bum is bummed.

His longtime companion, a vintage Ice-O-Mat ice-crusher, is unwell. The hand-crank is bleeding a viscous, decades-old black lubricant, and there’s no way to open the metal housing and treat the wound.

Two years before our manual Ice-O-Mat swept us off our feet at a Burbank swap meet, we were in a committed relationship with an electric model, a little number called Number 810A (pictured above). Sure, it had been around the block a few times, but there’s no substitute for experience. We only had a year together before its motor belt snapped, only to be pronounced D.O.A. after surgery by our vacuum cleaner repairman. And before that we had shacked up with a series of other fifty-something beauties: a feisty, avocado-green Swing-A-Way; a curvy, harvest-gold Proctor Silex; a sleek, silver Rival — we loved them all, and we lost them all.

But now, after 17 years of vintage crushers, it is time to buy retail. We simply can’t take the heartbreak of falling in love with our thrift store helpmates, only to witness them succumb to the physical indignities of old age. No more May-December romances. We need a more age-appropriate relationship.

The problem is, it’s slim pickings among the younger prospects out there. They tend to be callow youths, quite unstable, with plastic parts and personalities. Some of them even advertise themselves as “vintage style,” but we’re not fooled. We need one that’s substantial, one with some stamina, one that won’t break down under pressure. Spending an average of $40 on any of these fragile, homely, high-maintenance models, just because they’re available, simply won’t do.

There is hope, though. Recently we met and kinda clicked with a Waring Pro IC70. Not much to look at, but it crushes up to 12 cups of ice at a time — about 10 cups more than all the others, for only $30 more than the others cost. We’re still at that getting-to-know-you stage … but maybe, just maybe, this could be the beginning of something real.

Those of you who have perused our Deadbeat Bar cocktail menu may have noticed that one of our drinks, The Shrunken Bum, used to come with a warning that the recipe is too dangerous to reveal. But since we’ve been making them for over a year now and no one has died, or even shrunk, after drinking them, we here divulge it to you.

Not that you asked, but first a little background info: It all started because our pal Bosko came up with a Shrunken Bum sculpture in our honor … at any rate, we prefer to think it was in our honor, given the sad end to the Bum the piece envisions (see photo above). The sculpture caused a minor sensation when Bosko exhibited it at the 2004 Tiki Oasis event in Palm Springs, so Bosko followed it up with a pint glass bearing a Shrunken Bum logo (photo below). Since even a glass this interesting is more interesting with a drink in it, the Bum concocted a cooler to complete the picture.

To make a Shrunken Bum, place in your blender 1 ounce fresh lemon juice, 1 ounce apple juice, 1 ounce dark Jamaican rum, 3/4 ounce 151 Bacardi rum, 1/4 ounce sugar syrup, 1/8 level teaspoon powdered cinnamon, and 8 ounces (1 cup) crushed ice. Blend on high speed for at least 20 seconds. Pour into a Shrunken Bum glass half-filled with ice cubes (see link below to order one).

BOSKO’S SHRUNKEN BUM GLASS